No news is not necessarily good news

I got an email from our adoption coordinator, and she said they will have a decision in about a week. At this point, we have a 50/50 shot at being chosen, but the anxiety and stress of it all is taking a slight toll on our marriage.  Mike isn't here to go through everything with me and to calm me down when I have a crying fit, so we had a pretty big blowout the other night.  He had some valid points, the biggest being...if we get chosen, we will have to take out a pretty big loan to finance the adoption.  We will be starting off our lives as new parents with about $30,000 in new debt and yet another monthly payment.  Not to mention, we don't have anything we need for a new baby except lots of love!  If we get chosen, we will see what happens...we may not even be able to get a loan!  We decided that if this one doesn't work, we will try fostering for awhile when he gets home while we save money.  There is just so much that's completely out of my control, and I don't know if I've ever been so stressed! The birth mother decided at the last minute that she wanted to put her baby up for adoption, so this has all been kindof out of nowhere.  I know that right at this moment, there's really nothing I can do!  Lots of deep breaths and my amazing friends and family are making this a little easier, but Mike being here would comfort me more than anything.