Thursday, March 17, 2011


A very wise friend told me that the last few months of deployment are the hardest.  I didn't realize how stressed I have been until I started having terrible nightmares that he is just gone.  I don't know what happened, but he's not here anymore and all I can do is cry.  Luckily, he usually calls and interrupts the nightmare and I can breathe a huge sigh of relief.  I didn't hear from him today and I'm sure he's fine, but the nightmare is always in the back of my mind.  I can't wait for him to just be home so I don't have to worry anymore!  I cry at the drop of a hat in the most inappropriate places, and I'm getting pretty sick of it!

I had an endoscopy and a biopsy taken of my stomach today.  Very standard procedure; but as I was laying there waiting to be sedated, another patient woke up and they brought his wife in.  Tears just started rolling down my cheeks faster than I could wipe them off, and I didn't even really know why!  They rolled me into the procedure room and I started crying even harder-then they shoved oxygen tubes in my nose which made me very uncomfortable because my nose was running!  As I started falling asleep, I realized that I was crying because there was nothing I wanted more than for Mike to be there when I woke up.  I woke up to my mom sitting there watching me sleep, and the first thing I told her (in my sedated state) was that I dreamed about Mikey, and it was a good dream.  Every day that passes is one closer to him coming home, and I have to say I can't wait to have the old me back!

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